Crazy Things We?ve Overheard at the Nail Salon

peter som nails 1

We know, we know—it’s bad manners to eavesdrop. But when you’re getting your nails done, it’s basically impossible not to. And, wow, do you end up hearing some weird stuff. It’s like people forget that nail salons are public places. Here are a few of our favorite recently overheard convos.

  1. I was getting my nails done, and seated a chair over from me in the pedicure row was a mother-daughter combo. The daughter must have been in her early twenties, and it seemed like the mom was visiting from out of town. They were having a very detailed discussion about the daughter’s sex life with her new boyfriend as compared with her ex. I was subjected to a graphic analysis of each of guy’s penis. Her current boyfriend is apparently a really nice guy, but he’s not as great in bed as her ex—and not nearly as well-endowed.

  2. Two women were scrolling through Tinder, and one says, “I’ve just decided I have a new rule for online dating. I’m not going out with anyone who describes himself as a mixologist. I can’t deal with drinking more sh-tty cocktails made from expensive liquor he can’t afford.”

  3. One mom says to another, “When our older daughter got in trouble a few years ago, we bought a new car and a weekend spa vacation for the teacher who filed the complaint and everything was just fine.”

  4. Two girls were getting a manicure, and one was filling in the other about an unplanned sleepover with a guy the previous night. She was worried, she said, that she was too hairy, so she told the guy to wait in her room and she’d “be right back.” Her goal was to shave her legs—and trim up elsewhere—without him noticing, so she cranked up some music before starting the shower. When she was done, the guy was gone. Apparently the music had covered up the sound of the shower to the point where he didn’t realize she was in there and thought she’d left. After she ‘fessed up, he came back—and thought it was hilarious.

  5. While getting a pedicure, I overheard the girl next to me say on her phone: “Wait, he wanted to know how his penis smelled? Like, compared to what?” I was pretty bummed that I was able to hear only one side of the conversation, because all I heard were a lot of comments like “Yes, that’s definitely weird” and “That’s totally bizarre.”

  6. One friend says to another: “Can you not check in [on Facebook at the nail salon] with me? I can’t let James’ mom know I’m getting my nails done at a place other than hers or she’ll leave passive-aggressive comments on my Facebook page about why I don’t just go to her. And then James gets mad because his mom is giving him a hard time, and it’s just not worth it.”

  7. The girl getting a pedicure next to me was telling someone on the phone about how she’d gone to a yoga class recently and her ex’s girlfriend was also in the class. At one point I heard her say, “Well, if she’s as flexible in bed as she was in that class, then I’m pretty sure he’s having sex with her that I’m not even capable of.” I just wanted to reach out and give her a hug!

I know you guys have heard things too. Share ’em below!

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