I Got a Haircut That Was ‘Bad’ for My Face Shape and the World Didn’t End

I get why sorting things—anything—into categories is helpful. Ranking boneless wings by hotness level and leaving the front row to the best SoulCycle riders has not only made life easier, but it’s saved me from great embarrassment over the years. The same can be said for my beauty routine. For instance, nail shapes: I know I love a square nail, and having figured that out always leads me to a great manicure. But categorizing can also be more of a brain teaser than a shortcut. Take face shapes. I spent years trying to find the “right” haircut for me, and it didn’t ever make me love a haircut; it just made me insecure.

I grew up hearing I’d “eventually grow into” my head. A promise I’m still waiting to come through. Back in fourth grade, it was adult-size-bicycle-helmet big—and as for now? I was never that great with geometry in school, but according to all those online face charts, I believe the shape of my face is oblong.

Oblong is an ugly word, and traditional “long face” haircut tips include ultimatums like “Grow out your hair as long as possible to make your huge head look smaller!” Also, rarely is this advice subcategorized for women with curls. My huge head and I had had enough. Different faces are different shapes. It’s not a big deal, and adhering to rules that don’t make you feel good is a terrible idea (except for traffic, state, and federal laws—please follow those).

For my most recent—and horrifically overdue—haircut, I wanted a big change, but I also wanted a cut that had nothing to do with what’s usually recommended for me. Instead, I decided to focus on the shape of my hair—a hugely important part of curly haircuts—and what would make me feel great. I decided to start at the root of the issue (pun intended) and sought out the curl experts at Ouidad Salon NYC. If anyone could make my curls the number-one priority, I figured it was a specialist there.

I came in with a clear picture of what I wanted: shaggy bangs, lots of volume on top, and whatever could be salvaged from my very split ends. After almost a year of living vicariously through my favorite curly-haired idols on the ‘Gram—and trying out some faux curly bangs of my own for a story in our October issue—I was more than ready for a major, brow-brushing change. I wanted to celebrate my hair in all its frizzy glory, long face be damned. During our precut consultation chat, I told Ouidad curl expert Jessica O’Brien that I was sick to death of the safe looks I’d been getting. Jessica has great curly hair herself and was excited that I wanted to celebrate volume, but pointed out that my face is more of an oval. In her expert opinion, my crazy thick hair, not my head, was probably responsible for my bobblehead school pictures and XXL bike helmet.

That wasn’t the biggest shock of getting my cut though. Jessica spoke about the thickness and curliness of my hair as if it wasn’t a bad thing that needed to be tamed or blow-dried into submission. She was honest and direct with her questions about how big I was willing to let my hair get. In turn, I was straightforward about wanting exactly that: big, bouncy curls, with no punches pulled. And then we went for it.

I’d never had gotten my hair cut before without feeling like I owed the stylist an apology. This experience was different. It’s incredible to work with someone who gets your hair. It’s not a great cut because it flatters my face; it’s a great cut because it feels like me. At the end of the day, this haircut was a way to get in touch with my curly-haired soul (yes, my soul has hair and a gel manicure too, I think). It was a stepping stone on my path of ignoring arbitrary beauty rules. After a week of loving my hair, the best haircut advice I can give to anyone is just to get a haircut that makes you excited. And if you have curls, a specialist is a thousand times worth it.

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