‘Big Bang Theory’ Star Kunal Nayyar and His Wife Reveal the Most Intimate Things About Their Relationship

“The first time I saw Kunal, he was wearing a trucker hat, cutoff gloves, hipster glasses, and a scarf,” fashion designer Neha Kapur Nayyar recalls of meeting Big Bang Theory star Kunal Nayyar in 2009. “It took me a while to find him among all that.” Though she wasn’t impressed with her future husband’s accessories and was oblivious to his fame—“I had never seen the show,” she admits—Kunal was already a goner. “My first thought was, This is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” he says. “My second thought was, She’s way out of my league.” The two married in New Delhi two years later. The cutoff gloves stayed home. Here, we asked the so-gorgeous-it-hurts duo some very personal questions.

How do you each define love?

Neha Kapur Nayyar: Selfless.

Kunal Nayyar: Love is not perfect, and that’s OK.

Fill in the blank: Our love story began on…

NKN: December 24, 2009. New Dehli, India.

Fill in the blank: The first thing I thought when I saw my significant other was…

KN: She’s tall.

NKN: Interesting hat. [Laughs]

Your relationship described in three words. Go.

KN: BFF. Best friends forever.

Give me two more.

KN: BFF. Not so serious. Wait, that’s not right. Light. Like, relaxed. Laughter.

NKN: Comfortable. Companion. Best friend.

The best thing I’ve ever learned from my significant other is…

NKN: Selflessness.

KN: Clarity.

Not how to dress?

KN: Oh, that’s funny. I like that answer! Can I steal it? OK, I’ll do how to dress.

The pop song that best describes us is…

KN: That’s a great question. Why are you looking at me? [Laughs]

NKN: We listen to a lot of hip-hop.

KN: We gotta come back to that! It’s gotta be something good. “Baby Got Back”? [Laughs] What about “I Love You Like a Love Song?”

NKN: No. [Laughs]

One thing my significant other does not know about him or herself is…

KN: She giggles in her sleep.

Is that true?

NKN: I have no idea! [Laughs]

KN: It’s creepy.

NKN: Thanks! [Laughs] I think when Kunal is singing on his own without anyone around him, I think it’s the most beautiful thing. He doesn’t realize how good he sounds.

What is your significant other’s superpower?

KN: Neha has incredible ability to be inviting. She creates a beautiful, familiar, inviting atmosphere wherever she goes.

NKN: Kunal makes everyone feel very safe. Very secure. You can always lean on him. He should be the first phone call when you need someone.

What’s the secret to love that lasts?

KN: The ability to forgive.

NKN: Yeah. I’d say space.

I know that my significant other loves me when he/she does…

NKN: Kunal always wants to make sure I’m OK when I’m traveling, or with my food, so he always takes care of it one step before I even ask him. He’s got it covered.

KN: I know my wife loves me when I come home and it smells like Indian food.

NKN: Oh, is that a little nudge? [Laughs]

When did you know you were ready to propose?

KN: Oh, that’s a good question. I mean, when I went to secure the ring. When I wrote a check for the ring. [Laughs] That’s a good question.

How did you know she was “The One”?

KN: Oh, when she met my family for the first time! There was an unspoken language. She just knew how to interact, be with, give love to, put herself in a very…

NKN: It was very organic.

KN: Yes. She was very organic with my family.

And how did you know he was the guy?

NKN: I came to visit him three weeks after I met him for the first time. I can spend hours talking to Kunal, and it just felt like I had always known him, so when I came to visit him in L.A., it just seemed so right. I think I was always ready to marry him.

What advice would you give to somebody who doesn’t know whether they’re in the right relationship for the long haul?

NKN: I say take time. Spend time and take as long as you want before…nothing is out of bounds, no time is running out. Just take your time.

KN: Only do it for yourself. Don’t do it for your parents, your family, her, or him. Do it truly for you. That sounds bad, but what I mean is, don’t do it for anyone other than yourself.

NKN: Yeah, no pressure.

What are you most proud of about each other?

KN: Neha left her country as an adult to move here for marriage, and I really commend her on her ability to start a company, to make friends outside of my circle of friends, to make a life here on her own…where redefining herself [as an adult] in a new country, she’s been very good at. It takes a lot of courage. It’s not easy at all.

NKN: I think the fact that he doesn’t necessarily play his professional life out too much to people, and how humble he stays, especially with how big the show is, and how far and wide the fans are spread. He just completely stays committed and humble and dedicated and hardworking.