Jessica Pare on the End of Mad Men

Mad Men began winding down earlier this year with a half-season full of odd subliminal messages, breakdowns, and Megan-related heebie jeebies. By which I mean: Everyone thought she was going to die at any given moment. Thankfully, my favorite of Don Draper’s posse of partners lived to see the part-one finale. Now that the show has wrapped, I talked with Jessica Pare about playing such a high-profile woman on such a high-profile show.

So, how are you feeling with this experience officially behind you?

It stinks. It was just a few weeks ago that I realized we’ll never be these characters again. I’m feeling the loss of Megan, because I don’t know what’s happening to her. I mean, I know more than you guys do, but I don’t get to follow her anymore.

Just so you know, I’m reading into your every word here. The Internet has been very loud in its verdict on Megan; she’s doomed. After you wore the red-star T-shirt and moved to her cute Laurel Canyon bungalow, everyone was convinced that [show creator] Matthew Weiner was setting Megan up to follow the real-life tale of actress Sharon Tate.

There was a lot of talk. I wouldn’t put it past Matthew to have put those things in there intentionally. But I’ve spoken to him about it, and he says it was just a T-shirt, something he liked that he thought Megan would wear. The Laurel Canyon place was really great—it was a pain in the ass to shoot in because it was very small. But I loved it because I had a place in Laurel Canyon for six years and it felt like that, a bit of a cabin. If I could take home one thing from the show, though, it would be the entire Draper apartment in Manhattan.

And everything in Megan’s closet, right? Everyone’s clothes are great on the show, but hers are really special.

You see her evolution through the costumes so clearly. When I started I was just wearing pretty, simple, bright-color dresses. Then it was more sophisticated during the boss’s wife and copywriter phase—then she moved to L.A. and became a California girl. The clothes are where I got all the information about my character.

What were some of your favorite looks?__

The blue dress getting out of the car at the airport in the premiere of season seven—that moment was a gift to me as an actor. Slow motion makes you look a lot more graceful.

Were there any you didn’t love?

At first, I really questioned the bikini she wears on the phone with Don in the breakup scene. I was like, why would she be wearing that? But then I got it: She’s not expecting to have this conversation. She’s kind of sitting around, everything’s fine, and then this phone call happens. I love the vulnerability of that.

There was a time when, even knowing how things go with Don, I believed that the two of them would be happy together indefinitely. What do you think of their relationship, now that you can look back on it?

Megan and Don are kind of good for each other. There are nice parts of their relationship. I think we tend to view a divorce or breakup as a failed relationship or a failure when it’s not, necessarily. I’m an optimist.

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Is Megan? Do you think she has regrets about getting involved with Don?__

Probably she has moments of not regret but embarrassment, after everything that’s happened. She might have moments of “I wish I never did that for him, I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time, I wish I had moved out here sooner.” We’ve seen her furious because he’s duped her time and time again. But she’s a survivor. I mean, look at her parents.

What would you love to do next?

I’d love to keep working in television. But I’m having a baby, I’m due at the end of March. So I’m gonna do that first!

Which women in TV made 2014 for you?

I really loved Transparent [which is created by a woman, Jill Soloway]. Diane Kruger in The Bridge. And Shonda Rhimes’ Scandal and How to Get Away With Murder are just so god damn satisfying.

__Click here to read more interviews with the women who made TV for us in 2014.