Kate McKinnon’s Dos and Don’ts

Kate McKinnon doesn’t shy away from a challenge. Since she joined the cast of Saturday Night Live just over two years ago, she has performed heroic acts of comedy on a weekly basis: The 30-year-old has impersonated master impersonator Ellen DeGeneres (and Bieber! and Ann Romney!); gone topless in a promo with Lena Dunham; and even licked Louis C.K.’s face (best bad kiss ever). On the heels of an Emmy nod, the adorable oddball gifts you with a few of her personal Dos & Don’ts.

Do Try to Keep Your Oldest Friendships Intact (Unless They’re Awful).

I’m still close with my four best friends from middle school. When we were 12, we had dinner parties; we dressed as faeries for Halloween (yes, we spelled it faeries); we pondered the meaning of life. Today we still have dinner parties, I sometimes dress like a faerie for work, and we still ponder the meaning of life. We have yet to come to any conclusions, but I hope we’ll always be able to ask together. (Yes, I realize this is the plot of the movie Now and Then.)

Don’t Cry in a Starbucks When You Could Be Celebrating at a Hooters.

I once did a show where I failed so miserably, the agent I’d invited said, “There wasn’t really enough material to judge, but what I saw I didn’t like.” I was too distraught afterward to go out with the sweet men I’d invited from my telemarketing job, so instead I chose to cry in a Starbucks bathroom, loudly and for too long. Then the men called and asked me to meet them at Hooters. I thought, Well, this seems to fit the tone of the evening. I’ll tell you what—Hooters has got hot wings figured out.Do Get Regular Mole Checks.

I’m what could be softly described as a “real bad hypochondriac.” In answer to the age-old question, “Would you rather have a cook, maid, chauffeur, or masseuse,” I’d choose a team of MRI technicians to check me out whenever I felt the urge. But I’m not crazy for saying that sunlight is legitimately a weapon and you should get those moles checked every six months or a year.

Do Buy a Veggetti, or Five.

A Veggetti sounds like something you’d have to stuff in a drawer when your mother comes over, but there’s nothing obscene about it. It’s just a vegetable cutter that lets you slice zucchini into spaghetti. It gives you the psychological satisfaction of eating a massive bowl of pasta, but it’s just a heap of squash. Your friends will be skeptical, but after they’ve tried your Veggetti, they will attempt to steal it, so you’ll need to buy extras just in case. This is very important. (Of course, if you want pasta, do eat a massive bowl of it every once in a while. Life is short, and isn’t real-ass full-white-flour pasta the greatest joy in the universe?)

“Do Buy an Air Conditioner With Enough BTU’s for Your Apartment,” Says My Mother.

I am sweating so hard while I’m writing this, and mine is on full blast. Once again, she’s right.

Don’t Watch The Bachelorette Without Your Sister, If That’s a Special Thing You Do Together.

A sister is life’s most precious gift—mine is, at least. Do not forsake your sister, particularly when it comes to something as important as The Bachelorette.

Do Do You, Boo.

While rehearsing at SNL, I often wonder, “WWID?” or “What would I do?” because the answer isn’t always clear. I want to do things “the right way” and make everybody happy, but when I do, I usually fail. I’ve generally done better when I tried to ignore how I think something “ought” to be done and just listened to the bizarre little worm that lives in the apple of my heart. Be still and listen to the worm—unless it’s telling you to do something illegal.

[#image: /photos/56957ebd8fa134644ec24e24]||||||