Let’s Evaluate Carrie Mathison’s Questionable Homeland Hook Ups: Brody Versus Aayan

Two disclaimers to start out with: One, if you do not watch Homeland OR are not fully caught up with the most recent season, I would not suggest continuing on for fear of plot-ruining SPOILERS (don’t say I didn’t warn you).

Secondly, I’m majorly hooked on season four right now. Everything I loved about the Showtime drama in the first two seasons has returned in full force, and everything I had begun to seriously hate (namely, the way-too-sulky Dana Brody, the way-too-chipper Chris Brody, and the I-don’t-move-my-mouth-when-I-talk Nicholas Brody) has thankfully been wiped clean. One thing that hasn’t changed, though, is the very complex and very, very flawed Carrie Mathison, played by Claire Danes. Our favorite lady spy still loves her wine, jazz music, AND hooking up with potential CIA assets.

Now, I’m certainly not privy to CIA spy tactics, but I can’t imagine that they condone literally sleeping with the enemy—something Carrie has now done with both turned-POW Brody and season-four newbie Aayan, who is the nephew of a fictional Pakistani terrorist, Haqqani. And while Brody and Aayan could not be more different in terms of appearance, background, profession, etc., they both hold information Carrie wants and could potentially use to nab most-wanted terrorists. Deciding which relationship is more bizarre, though, is almost as tricky as deciphering Carrie’s moods. Let’s take a deep dive and see who comes out on top (no pun intended).

Most shocking first hookup: TIE. This first category doesn’t do much to settle the score between Aayan and Brody, since my jaw dropped equally fast when Carrie put the moves on them both. With Carrie and Brody, the reaction was more of the WTF variety; while with Carrie and Aayan, it was more “no, no, NO, NOT AGAIN!”—but nonetheless, I didn’t see either tryst coming.

Most inappropriate abuse of power: Aayan. Another toughie, since Carrie preyed on Brody’s prisoner-of-war PTSD to get him to let his guard down, but I’m giving this one to Aayan because 1.) he’s practically a teenager, 2.) he had just lost his family in an attack, and 3.) she goads him with false promises of safe passage out of Pakistan and admission to the Royal College of Physicians. Not cool, Carrie.

Worst caught-in-the-act moment: Brody. Who didn’t cringe when Carrie and Brody had, ahem, extremely loud sex in a motel while Saul, Quinn, and the gang all listened in via surveillance? My cheeks are red just typing that.

Best Quinn call-it-like-it-is moment: Aayan. “To me, it looks like your f**king a child.” Um, sorry, Carrie. He’s kinda right.

Quickest “I love you”: Aayan. By my count, Carrie and Aayan had spent about three days total together before he drops the L-bomb from a pay phone in the Pakistani countryside. Little does he know that the CIA is listening in on his conversation, and Carrie is using him to lead her to his terrorist uncle Haqqani. Ouch. (Also, I don’t recall Brody ever saying “I love you” to Carrie.)

Worst influence on Carrie: Aayan. Carrie certainly made some very questionable decisions while she was with Brody, but one of her worst judgement calls came as a result of Aayan when she nearly sacrificed Saul (practically her father!!) for a shot to kill Haqqani. Luckily, we had Quinn on hand for another massive reality check: “Are you out of your mind? That is Saul down there!” Thank goodness for Quinn.

Most shocking death: Aayan. By the time Brody died in season three, while very sad, I think we all muttered a “finally” under our breaths (while simultaneously wondering, Is he really dead?). On the contrary, I was wholly unprepared for Aayan’s demise in last night’s episode—as was Carrie apparently.

By that tally, I’ve got Carrie-Aayan topping Carrie-Brody, but I’m open for debate: Who do you think is the odder pairing? And what do you think of Carrie’s promiscuous spy tactics? And am I the only one hoping for a Carrie-Quinn romance? Let’s discuss!