Nick Miller Is Kind of Gross On New Girl, So Why Do I Think He’s SO Hot?

New Girl‘s Nick Miller poses an interesting conundrum for me. Theoretically, he should not be attractive—he’s a crotchety old man-type who barely understands the basics of grooming—but yet I consider him the hottest guy on TV at the moment. No, really. If I could choose a TV-show character for a boyfriend, I’d pick Nick, hands-down. And I think last night’s episode—full of Jess-Nick sexual tension and hi-jinx—best demonstrates this paradox…

GROSS NICK MILLER MOMENTS:

He hides his old, beat-up car under cardboard boxes.

He spits beer back into his cup.

He pronounces WIFI “wiffy.”

He makes weird faces.

He gleefully says, “I found garbage, and it has chocolate on it.” THEN LICKS IT. That is where diseases come from, Nick Miller.

Speaking of food from the ground, he’s totally willing to eat this sour ball from the parking lot floor.

HOT NICK MILLER MOMENTS:

There’s still so much sexual tension.

When Jess does a “sexy” dance, he immediately agrees she can have the parking spot they’re all fighting over.

He admits that there are more feelings for Jess than he’s letting on.

Then they almost kiss! Gah, Schmidt, you cooler.

Do you love Nick as much as I do, or do you prefer Winston or Schmidt?