On a Date With Criminal Minds’ Matthew Gray Gubler: We Talk Love, Magic, and the Secret to His Optimism

People say happiness is a warm puppy—but it’s also Matthew Gray Gubler. The 35-year-old Criminal Minds actor was nothing but gracious, warm, and engaging during our sit-down interview in his trailer on location for the CBS drama, where he’s in the middle of taping scenes as Dr. Spencer Reid. As soon as we arrive, he greets us with a big hug, and then leads us along the lunch line for an enormous spread of fish tacos, chicken, and other delicious sides. If actors are often known for only thinking about themselves, then Matthew clearly hasn’t gotten that memo.

A constant theme throughout our hour-long interview is gratitude, and it’s a topic that comes up quite often. “I’ve noticed if you stay alive long enough and you just continue to work hard, you’ll inevitably be successful,” says Gubler. And successful he has been. A natural-born performer since he could walk and talk, Gubler found happiness from entertaining others. Now, in his 11th season on Criminal Minds, Gubler still hasn’t lost his enthusiasm for performing or the procedural that has opened more doors than one can keep count. He voices Simon in the Alvin and the Chipmunks films (the most recent film opened this past Friday), just directed his second music video for The Killers (“Dirt Sledding,” a follow-up to “Don’t Shoot Me Santa”), and has an independent film, Band of Robbers, opening in January. The modern day re-telling of Mark Twain’s iconic characters Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer also stars Melissa Benoist, Hannibal Buress, Eric Christian Olsen, and others. “It’s what I’ve always dreamed of doing,” reveals Gubler. “I helped produce it, and I couldn’t be more proud.”

But first, it’s time to learn more about the actor. You know what that means: Let’s go On a Date!

Glamour: Who is the person people say you most look like?

Matthew Gray Gubler: That is a great question. You know who it truly is? Spitting image, young John Waters. I look uncannily so much like him that he had me MC his UCLA Royce Hall show as him back in the 60s. He used to have really long hair, and [I look like] that odd mix of Steve Buscemi and him. [John] almost played my dad on Criminal Minds, and we actually became friends. We’ve been in two movies together. But yeah, it’s spitting image.

Glamour: You’re going to laugh now, but I was going to say Ryan Seacrest.

Matthew: Really?! Will that make him feel bad? [Laughs]

Glamour: No, you totally do! Especially when you’re animated like you are now.

Matthew: Well, thank you. I feel like he’s the hardest-working man in show business. You remind me of Belle, my favorite princess, because she’s very smart and just an all-around great gal. I love her.

Glamour: [Laughs] I knew I was excited to sit down for this interview. Thank you! So, Criminal Minds is now in its 11th season and you’ve been in every episode. Can you possibly sum up what this show has meant to you?

Matthew: Wow. You know, it’s funny you ask. It’s so bizarre it has been on for so long because in no way shape or form does it feel like that. It still feels like day two. Family is the only thing I can think of to sum it up. It’s a real honor. I love entertaining people, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. The fact that I’ve gotten to do this for a long time is so awesome.

Glamour: What do you wish you could go back and tell yourself when you walked on set that first day?

Matthew: Absolutely nothing. It’s been a really fun time. When I’m doing this job, I feel like a different person, which is probably why it has gone by so fast. I’ve always loved performing. I am weird that I love auditioning. I’m as happy entertaining one person as I am entertaining a million people.

Glamour: Who have you most bonded with among the cast after all these years?

Matthew: Every one of them. When you work this many hours together for this many years, you see each other more than your own families. Joe Mantegna is like my Los Angeles dad. Mandy Patinkin is so close to my heart. Early on in the show, he felt like my best friend. Shemar [Moore] is like my brother. A.J. [Cook] is like a sister. Paget [Brewster] is my best friend. I married her and introduced her to her husband.

Glamour: What has been the coolest career opportunity to come out of Criminal Minds?

Matthew: I’m happy every day that I get up and I’m alive. If you can get up each morning and your feet work—for a while my leg was messed up because of my knee, but I was loving it because I had my other leg! [Laughs] It was great. I have loved every minute of everything. Playing John Waters was amazing. One of the most recent ones was being offered this part in Life After Beth, which is a really cool zombie comedy. The character was a muscular, jock, security guard—and I couldn’t understand why they were offering it to me. Maybe they thought I was Eric Christian Olsen or something? [Laughs] The director was watching [Criminal Minds] one night and wanted to cast me opposite of what my character is on this show. He wanted me to play the meathead because it’s something you wouldn’t expect. It was an honor to play something I’m not known for and do what I love most, which is comedy. So that’s a great thing that came from playing a psycho nerd on Criminal Minds! [Laughs]

Glamour: Aside from acting, you direct, write, illustrate, perform magic… What on earth do you list as your occupation at the DMV?

Matthew: Yeah, it’s tough. [Laughs] I’m a storyteller. That’s what I am. Whether it’s pictures I draw or things I direct, I’m just trying to tell a story and make people’s lives hopefully more enchanting.

Glamour: Speaking of making something, you just designed these totes for the American Red Cross.

Matthew: In my quest to do every single thing imaginable, I love making shirts and stickers and buttons, and the totes were just…a lot of bummers are going on in the world, and the Red Cross helps everyone, and I just wanted to do something to spread some cheer. So I made a “I love the universe” picture and figured I could give the proceeds to that. I’m also making these blankets for kids who are either sick or orphans, and I think I’ll have them done in January or February. Every blanket sold, one will be given to a kid in need. I like the idea of giving things to people in need.

Glamour: You were born in Las Vegas. When did the acting bug hit?

Matthew: It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. I have a crazy memory, and I remember being two years old at someone’s party and thinking, “This party is boring! I better spruce it up!” I got up and tried to do this really dumb dance that I saw Winnie the Pooh do, and I remember falling over and thinking, “This is what it’s all about.”

Glamour: What did your parents think? Did they realize what they hand on their hands?

Matthew: They are the most lovely, encouraging parents a kid could ever ask for. I’ve been lavished with nothing but encouragement—probably too much!

Glamour: Your mom, Marilyn, is a rancher and a political consultant. What does that mean exactly?

Matthew: She’s a rancher, a jack of all trades, a brilliant real-estate mind, and most of all, just the most loveliest mom. She’s a beautiful force of nature. She runs a ranch and is on horseback a lot of the day, and she’s just the greatest.

Glamour: And dad, John, is an attorney, right?

Matthew: Yes. He’s the closest thing to Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird. He’s a wonderful pillar of sincerity and honesty. He’s like Abe Lincoln meets Atticus Finch, and he dresses like that too. I have the greatest parents in the world.

Glamour: You recently posted a photo of yourself at a Beach Boys concert at age 11. Explain who you were at that age.

Matthew: Yes! I’ve been wearing fedoras since I was six years old until I wore that hat to the Beach Boys concert. My idols growing up were Harry Anderson, who was an obscure magician/comic from Night Court, Penn and Teller, and Harry Houdini. I looked like a 1920s gangster. I feel an affinity to that kid Manny on Modern Family. That guy really speaks to my youth. And I wore these glasses that floated on my head. They were called floaters. They had a fishing line that attached around my ear because I kind of got bullied a lot, so it was easier to repair those than glasses that had bands. They are probably the ugliest glasses you’ve ever seen in your entire life, but very practical.

me at a beach boys concert when i was 11 pic.twitter.com/dWpZw7o1VN

— matthew gray gubler (@GUBLERNATION) December 9, 2015

Glamour: You graduated from NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts, and while you were there, you were found by a model scout and did campaigns for Tommy Hilfiger, Marc Jacobs, American Eagle, Kate Spade, etc. You’ve talked about being bullied as a kid, so what was it like being judged in a new way?

Matthew: I don’t know. I’m so thankful for every bully I’ve ever had. It never affected me, and that’s why I’m so thankful for them. I learned early on that if anything, it made me stick closer to who I am and not try…it just made me very solid with who I was. I don’t see it like, “poor me.” I was lucky. It taught me a beautiful lesson, and I’m really grateful for it.

Glamour: You interned for Wes Anderson, who encouraged you to audition for a part in The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. How did that internship come about?

Matthew: In order to graduate from film school, we had to do a semester of interning. I really wanted to intern for Wes because he’s one of my favorite filmmakers and lives in New York and has a production company there. I sent a little weird DVD of movies I made and a note saying I would love to get him coffee. [Laughs] I lucked out and got to work there, and that was a real dream come true.

Glamour: Do you still talk to Wes Anderson?

Matthew: Yeah, every now and then. I’m very fortunate because he was the first person to ever put me in something as an actor, so I’m very grateful for him for doing that.

Glamour: What aspect of the business brings you the most happiness?

Matthew: It sounds so cheesy, but making people smile. I really feel it’s important to encourage children. I’m so proud of all the kids entertainment I’ve done, whether it’s The Chipmunks, Scooby Doo, or Batman. It’s a huge responsible, so anything to hopefully foster creativity and imagination in children, there’s no more noble thing you can do as a performer.

Glamour: Directing has become a big part of your life, both with Criminal Minds and music videos for The Killers. Why do you love it so much?

Matthew: I love directing. To me, I really feel most like myself, or that I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing if I’m directing or acting in comedies or telling ghost stories. Those are when I feel I am doing exactly what I should be in that moment. I’m really proud of everything I’ve done as a director. Every episode I’ve directed on Criminal Minds I think is flawless. [Laughs] I’m like the Kanye West of directors. I just know it, I know it! They’re great! And I can’t wait to make more videos and direct more stuff.

Glamour: Speaking of your creativity, you have quite an amazing house. It even has a closet with all of your kimono robes. Where did this fascination start?

Matthew: It actually relates to Christmas. Grandma Gubler, the most elegant and warm-hearted woman to ever walk the face of the earth, went to Japan when I was seven and again at nine, and brought me back a silk kimono. I loved it so much and wore it all the time. She then passed away when I was around 10, and my dad came in and gave me an adult kimono that he said she bought for me when I grew up—I’m gonna cry a little bit—but, caveat to the story—and I still don’t know the truth—but I have a sneaking suspicion that she bought it for him, and then he gave it to me.

Glamour: You officiated at the wedding of your Criminal Minds co-star, Paget Brewster, when she tied the knot with Steve Damstra a year ago. What has their relationship taught you about love?

Matthew: It taught me a lot, and Paget and Steve are two of my best friends. Paget in a lot of ways is like the female me—or the more female me! [Laughs] She taught me that all in the right time, true love will find you. She had dated some people and was sort of like, “I’m fine with either being alone or not,” and then she met Steve, who swept her off her feet and then she knew what the lifetime of waiting was for. I admire that.

Glamour: You were in a relationship with 2 Broke Girls‘ Kat Dennings for some time.

Matthew: For a long time. I’m still really good friends with her. I love Kat. She’s the best.

Glamour: What made you guys work so well, and how were you able to stay such good friends with her?

Matthew: I fall in love with wonderful people and people that can’t be replicated. They are completely unique individuals, and those people are really rare and you can’t let them go. You gotta be friends with them forever because if I’m going to date someone, it’s a real big thing for me. It means that I feel that we’re tied together for life, whether they like it or not! [Laughs] Kat is marvelous. She’s one of the funniest people I know and such a talented actress, a brilliant mind, a warm-hearted person, and I love her and her family. I met her a long, long time ago—it was at the start of my show. Being on a show like this is not conducive to having a real life because for those first five years of Criminal Minds, we were easily doing 15-hour days. But we were always close, and now that she’s on a show, I feel like she understands! [Laughs] We did a movie, Suburban Gothic, together, and that was one of the best experiences. To make a movie with people you’re dialed in with in real life is the closest thing to being in a band with someone. It’s so nice to have a creative force that you can create something better together than alone, and that’s what it was like working with her.

Glamour: What is your perfect date night?

Matthew: I’m a great dater! I don’t go on a ton of dates, but when I do, I try to make dates really spectacular. Perfect date: I’d pick her up with Sam Cook playing on the radio, driving with the windows down and the heat on, then go to maybe a museum like the Museum of Jurassic Technology in Los Angeles or the Neue Galerie in New York, walk around aimlessly in Central Park, go to dinner somewhere great. New York is probably the best place to go on a date. And if at any point it’s terrible, you can hail a cab and run! [Laughs] I joke!

Glamour: What are your turn-offs in a relationship?

Matthew: Entitlement. I feel like it’s the root of a lot of things…I feel like if you wake up in the morning and can breathe, things are f–king sweet. You have nothing to complain about. We’re so lucky. You’re alive, so enjoy it.

Glamour: Are you parents the ones responsible for making you so appreciative for life?

Matthew: I think so, as well as the entertainment I grew up with, which is why childhood entertainment is so important to me. It’s like Walt Disney. I grew up in Las Vegas, which is maybe a little bit of it. It’s a town that shouldn’t exist in an inhospitable desert. It’s a beautiful beacon of light, and I like that.

Glamour: Do you want a family one day?

Matthew: Hell yeah!

Glamour: What advice would you really want to instill in your kids based on your adolescence?

Matthew: Hmm. Be appreciative for everything and to everyone for everything, whether it’s being appreciative of a bully or someone giving you an opportunity. Just enjoy it. And don’t be serious. Humor is the most important thing in the world.

Glamour: You told Details: “I really felt like an outcast all of my life. I still feel like one, and I remember that feeling well. It’s the thing I can conjure up the easiest. I feel in a unique position as [an] entertainer [who is] somewhat successful to be able to hopefully inform those kids and let them know that it’s OK to be weird, it’s OK to feel like an outsider, you know? The popular people, it doesn’t really matter what they think…I just want to make those that feel like outcasts feel like they belong somewhere.” I just thought that was so profound and honest.

Matthew: That’s a good quote! Thank you! I hold true to that. That really is my only hope in everything and anything. I feel like, also, I’m so lucky to have such a really loving family, and I feel a lot of people don’t have the good fortune of having that, so if they can feel that somehow through entertainment, that’s really important to share. That’s all I’ve wanted to do—make people feel like they’ve got a friend.

Alvin and The Chipmunks: The Road Chip is in theaters now. Band of Robbers opens in theaters and video on demand on January 15. Criminal Minds returns with an all-new episode on Wednesday, January 13 at 10 P.M. ET.