Ranking All of the Men Peggy Olson Hooked Up With on Mad Men

Warning: Mad Men spoilers ahead! If you haven’t watched the series finale yet, proceed with caution.

“I mean I must be…because you’re always right. I think I’m in love with you too. I really do,” Peggy told Stan in the prayer-answering scene where the two confess their feelings for each other in last night’s finale.

We’re on board with this conclusion—and hope this means they’re going to share a love-filled life as an advertising team and equal partnership. It’s heartening to see Peggy finally embrace Stan and his fringed jackets and bushy beard in the end, mainly because they’re longtime allies who understand each other. (Everyone saw this coming, right? But that time he was on meth and complimented her butt, it was clearly the Mad Men equivalent of a booty call, so she rejected him. This time, it was for real.)

But before the show decided it was finally time for Peggy to find something real, she had romantic encounters with a very lame assembly of men. This woman was getting her life together career-wise but never failed to attract disappointing men. So we took a look back at every single one of Peggy’s doomed romantic interests. Here they are, in order from worst to almost tolerable.

1. Pete Campbell (Vincent Kartheiser)

*In his lifelong quest to feel like a man, Pete showed up at Peggy’s apartment in season one at an inopportune time: after his own bachelor party. But she sleeps with him—and Peggy became pregnant and got a Don Draper-size secret of her own. This relationship never was going to work: He didn’t treat her with respect until much later, when she lost respect for him.

2. Duck a.k.a. Herman Phillips (Mark Moses)

When Duck started things with Peggy, they were both desperate for validation. He only came knocking when his life was falling apart, which was often. For these reasons, we’re glad she didn’t go home with him that time he tried to sweep her off her feet by showing up drunk and angry, even for old time’s sake.

3. Father John Gill (Colin Hanks)

Let’s not pretend this celibate man of the cloth was not totally perving on Peggy by asking for her pointers on his speeches. For what it’s worth (zero), we appreciated that glimpse of him in a T-shirt…

4. Mark Kearney (Blake Bashoff)

This guy just sucked. He went from slightly irritating to raging jerk when he broke up with Peggy on the phone after she blew off the fancy birthday party he organized with her family for her. (Know your girlfriend, buddy.) Although he was pretty hilarious to watch when he was convinced that he was the one taking her virginity.

5. Movie Theater Guy

We know even less about this stranger than we know about sketchy Craigslist ads. But that was the point: Peggy used him to prove she could please a man by pleasuring him at the movies. Obviously, this was a short-lived fling.

6. “College boy” (Billy Finnegan)

This one-night-stand-ish was a harmless dweeb, so it was never going to extend beyond that. At least he let her know there are some nice guys out there, even if they’re not intriguing enough for her because they don’t work in the same office…

7. Eugene from Paul Kinsey’s groovy Newark party (John Patrick Jordan)

Peggy dared corny Eugene to sell her on why she should go home with him, but he failed to impress. Peggy was feeling especially cocky that night, so she went ahead and enjoyed the hell out of it. Side note: Kinsey, the party’s host, also tried to get with Peggy by tempting her with knowledge of Ukrainian food, and she blew him off too.

8. Ted Chaough (Kevin Rahm)

He was married, but he still somehow came across as more wholesome than the other guys on the show who cheated. He was wrong to step out, but Ted and Peggy had a complicated relationship (and major sexual tension). Unfortunately, he didn’t bring more cheer to the picture. He showed up unannounced at her apartment, told her he loved her, and said he was leaving his wife. But before they could run off together, he up and left for California to avoid her and protect his family. It was what was best for him—and Peggy.

9. Stevie Wolcott (Devon Gummersall)

He actually seemed like a solid guy, which is impressive for a blind date. They talk about Paris because, like Don, that’s where Peggy thinks romance and happiness happens—but we get the sense that we’re never going to hear from him again (and we don’t).

10. Abe (Charlie Hofheimer)

Abe the socially conscious journalist had principles, a leather jacket, and a very cute face. Unfortunately, his principles meant he loathed everything about Peggy’s work. Still, he and Peggy had their moments. We have to give it to him for his loyalty and kindness, but it was a struggle from the start.

Bonus: Michael Ginsberg (Ben Feldman)

Oh, the lovably awkward weirdo with conspiracy theories about computers. Although they never kiss, he tried to have sex with her to, um, protect the human race. And he gave Peggy a horrifying gift: his nipple in a box.