Sixteen Candles Turns 30! So Here Are 16 Reasons It’s the Perfect Teen Movie

Sixteen Candles, the teen classic directed by John Hughes, premiered 30 years ago on Sunday! Two things: 1) I officially feel old now, and 2) Thinking about this movie reminds me of when I hit 16. I was dateless, continued my Friday-night tradition of watching Walker Texas Ranger and Nash Bridges with my parents, and my boobs were the size of a couple of Raisinets you’d find under a movie theater seat. Hands down, I beat Samantha Baker (Molly Ringwald) in the lame 16th-birthday department. However, this movie has me beat is in the “film that basically created the teen movie genre as we know it today, perfectly captured what it’s like to be 16, and made the incomparable Ringwald a superstar” department. Pretty impressive, eh?

So in honor of Sixteen Candles turning the dirty 30, I’m kicking back, streaming this movie online, and sharing with you the 16 reasons it’s the perfect teen movie.

1) Everyone simultaneously looks 17 and 37.

Exhibit A: Early on in the movie, Jake (below left) finds out Sam likes him, so he decides to mull things over by talking to his friend and fellow high school senior classmate. This is the friend:

No offense to the unnamed jock, but how the heck is he supposed to pass for an 18-year-old? He looks like the owner of Sal’s Auto Body Repair shop in Secaucus, N.J., which reminds me, I need windshield wiper fluid. Anyway, it’s not only the guys with this problem in Sixteen Candles. Some of the girls in this movie look like they’ve had 15 pap smears, as opposed to being age 15, like Sam’s BFF Randy:

And you know what? I love how most people in Sixteen Candles don’t actually look their age. It adds to the movie’s funky and low-budget vibe. Furthermore, weird little quirks like this not only help make it feel like the film was really made for teens, but it also symbolize what it’s like to be a teen: imperfect.

2) The soundtrack is everything.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure the keytar was invented as a form of birth control, and then one of the hot guys from Duran Duran played it unironically and I was born. So thanks to them for playing funky music that got my parents in the mood, I guess. And thanks to another 1984 miracle: the Sixteen Candles soundtrack. There were countless gems on it like “If You Were Here” by the Thompson Twins, “Young Americans” by David Bowie, and “Tenderness” by General Public, which is made up of a duo that includes a black guy named Ranking Roger whose brown-and-black-striped hairstyle was inspired by a jar of Smucker’s Goober peanut butter and jelly:

8) Ted’s dance of seduction is the same as the one I do to my mailman when he’s delivering a care package that my parents sent me:

In short, Ted and I are soulmates.

9) Speaking of Ted, he strikes the perfect balance of being an utter dweeb and being a jerk.

Example: Ted lies to his friends about having a budding relationship with Sam, so they make a bet that he can get proof (her underwear) in a way that would make Steve Jobs proud:

10) Mr. Baker is one of the best teen-movie dads ever.

Namely because he’s everything a real-life teen girl’s dad isn’t: able to talk about his daughter’s love life like he’s one of the girls. Three quarters into the movie, he successfully pries Sam about Jake, listens, and gives sound advice without being overly protective. Seriously, he was so good at this that if he pulled out a bottle of pinot, so the two of them could commiserate about how love is tricky, I wouldn’t have been surprised. In fact, I would’ve grabbed my Olivia Pope-size wineglass and joined them.

Bonus: When he sees Sam and Jake about to drive off at the end of the movie, he gives Sam the cutest thumbs-up! He never even met Jake but is 1,000 percent on board with his daughter’s happiness. Love it.

11) The coolest guy in school and the nerd…get along?

Here’s how it usually goes in movies: Cool guy gives nerd an atomic wedge, nerd races to Walgreens to buy some Icy Hot to help heal the wound. It’s a tale as old as time or something. But Sixteen Candles presents a different take on this relationship. Jake and Ted become friends. Not because Jake is only setting Ted up to humiliate him later. Not because Ted is thirsty to ditch his geeky friends and hang with the seniors. Not because Jake is going to give Ted a makeover, so he will fit in more in school. They become friends because they enjoy each other’s company. Not to get all sappy about it, but from the moment the two meet, they all but say this to each other:

12) The Classroom Scene. Ahh!

I never thought I’d type this, but I do feel kind of sorry for kids growing up today. When I was in school, passing notes was an everyday occurrence that went down with the intensity and stealth of an episode of 24:

15) Thanks to this film, Molly Ringwald and Anthony Michael Hall dated IRL!

Granted, the relationship was short-lived—they had broken up by the time they started shooting The Breakfast Club—but any movie that can bring together two teen icons is a special one indeed.

16) Best ending ever!

__What were some of your favorite moments from Sixteen Candles?