The concept of MTV’s Catfish is in and of itself shocking: These are people who have dated for years, fallen in love, even gotten engaged all online without ever meeting (and often even seeing) the person live. Given that’s our baseline, the insanity barometer can only go up from there—and, oh, it has. With its newest season premiering tonight, let’s take a look back at some of the most bat-shit, bonkers stories to come out of Catfish.
Jasmine & Mike
What She Thought: Jasmine had been chatting with Mike for two years, and they bonded over their children.
The Truth: “Mike” is really Jasmine’s ex-friend Mhissy, who created Mike to keep Jasmine away from her current boyfriend (and Jasmine’s ex) Triggs.
Ramon & Paola
What He Thought: Ramon met Paola on Facebook, and after talking for eight months, he was in love enough to give her a couple of thousand dollars—and his bank account information.
The Truth: Turns out Paola is actually Loyda, and Ramon KNEW it—Loyda had Skyped with him and showed him her license, but Ramon “didn’t want to believe it.” And then, Loyda revealed she used the money Ramon sent her to buy herself an engagement ring and told everyone Ramon had proposed. What the what?!
Joe & Kari Ann
What He Thought: Joe thought he was dating a former Miss Teen USA (eye roll).
The Truth: Max and Nev discover that Joe and Kari Ann share a mutual friend, Rose, who tells them that Kari Ann is real. So imagine Joe and the Catfish team’s surprise when they go to meet Kari Ann—and Rose pops out. Turns out Rose has an addiction to fake profiles and a heart as cold as ice.
Keyonnah & Lil Bow Wow
What She Thought: Keyonnah was “60 percent convinced” she was dating Lil Bow Wow (as in, the rapper). He even sent her $10,000 (well, his “assistant” did).
The Truth: Lil Bow Wow is actually a girl named Dee, which is not that surprising. (Did anyone really think it would be Bow Wow? Cummon.) What is surprising, though, is that her motivation is she likes tricking straight girls into thinking she’s a guy—EVEN WHEN HAVING SEX.
Rico & Ja’mari__
__What He Thought:__ Rico fell in love online with a “model” name Ja’mari.
__The Truth:__ Ja’mari’s real name was James, and he wasn’t a model—but he didn’t lie about his appearance. What he *did* lie about was his criminal past: He spent two years in prison for allegedly stealing three different buses, impersonating the driver, and driving them on their routes (huh?). To cap it all off, the two decided to stay in a relationship and James pursued his career as a bus driver, having gotten his license in jail.
__Mike & Caroline__
__What He Thought:__ Mike met Caroline on a dating site, and they bonded over the fact that she was suffering from colon cancer—the same cancer his mom had.
__The Truth:__ Caroline is actually Heather, she does not have cancer, and she has catfished Mike before! When he caught her the first time, she made up Caroline, and then made up the cancer when she thought he was going to leave again.
__Artis & Jess__
__What He Thought:__ Artis was under the impression he was dating Jess and was ready to ditch his current girlfriend—and *mother of his three children*—for her.
__The Truth:__ Jess is actually a man who creates fake online dating profiles to teach people a lesson about cheating. He was so creepy even [Nev and Max were afraid of him](http://www.inquisitr.com/924980/catfish-recap-am-i-the-only-one-wondering-if-justin-is-real/).
__Jennifer & Skylar__
__What She Thought:__ This shy, bullied 18-year-old fell for a teen named Skylar in San Francisco who, of course, was a model.
__The Truth:__ Not only was Skylar an older-than-advertised guy named Bryan, but he used catfishing to work on his game (talk about creepy). And Bryan was such a cold-hearted jerk that Nev and Max ordered him never to contact Jennifer again (a *Catfish* first).
__Jesse & Brian__
__What She Thought:__ Jesse met Brian, a Marine who did a tour in Afghanistan, on Facebook, where they talked for three years. They were supposed to meet in person, but Brian never showed up.
__The Truth:__ Brian is for real, and he never showed up that day because he had a PTSD episode that ended with him getting arrested for having a weapon of mass destruction in his backpack. He was also secretly married.
__Rod & Ebony __
__What He Thought:__ Rod had a four-year relationship online with Ebony, who he believed was a transgender woman. Oh, and she was paying his cell phone bills.
__The Truth:__ Double Catfish: Rod was pretending to be his cousin KJ with Ebony, and Ebony was a biological woman and a lesbian. She wasn’t interested in men, and he wasn’t interested in biological women.
__Whitney & Bre__
__What She Thought:__ Whitney fell for a Bre, an exotic dancer in L.A., and carried on a four-year relationship with her online. They never video-chatted because Bre claimed to not have Wi-Fi.
__The Truth:__ It’s not Whitney being catfished—it’s Nev and Max! After going through Whitney’s Facebook chats, they discover that Whitney and Bre have seen each other—and Whitney is using *Catfish* for a free plane ticket to go visit her.
__*Catfish* returns tonight on MTV at 10 P.M. PS: Read [Nev Schulman’s essay for Glamour.com](/sex-love-life/2015/05/online-dating-advice-from-catfishs-nev-schulman) about why technology has killed dating—and how to fix it.
__More from *Glamour*:__
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