Where Are They Now? Ex-Real Housewives

I know, I know. That whole Rebecca Minkoff thing we did earlier today was just too cruel. Let me make up for it by recalling the ghosts of Bravo past—let’s see what some former camera-friendly, wine-swilling ladies are up to now.

We may as well begin with that sorry season set in D.C. Some said these women were just too smart to carry the frothy show—I’ll go ahead and not touch that one. I think, rather, that it was a barrage of gross hotel ballrooms that really took the wind out of this installment’s sails. You can watch only so many catfights happen on wall-to-wall carpeting.

Mary Schmidt-Amons

Mary “I don’t make money, I spend money” Schmidt-Amons divorced her husband, Rich, about a year ago. The Labels for Love founder also recently launched bodybymaryamons.com, a website that scarily knows where you’re clicking in from and appears to have something to do with diet supplements.

Lynda Erkiletian

Lynda’s company, The Artists Agency, actually celebrates its 29th anniversary today. That’s the good news. The bad news is that she’s no longer with Ebong. Boo.

Stacie Scott Turner

I’ll admit to falling in love with Stacie’s search for her biological father—and I’m sad to say that she and husband Jason, who went on the quest with her, have since gone their separate ways. She’s still running her real estate business.

Catherine Ommannen

Cat has written her autobiography and a sequel to her autobiography since the show aired. Let’s disregard the fact that many world leaders have been captured in a single volume and just focus on how good she looks. (She also recently had a baby girl!)

Michaele Salahi

Michaele and her rocker BF, Neal Schon, are reportedly considering getting married on TV, while the rest of us are reportedly going “nah, we’re good.”

Now let’s travel back to the origin story that was The Real Housewives of Orange County and catch up with some of the first women to hold up fruit on television ever.

Jo De La Rosa

Jo’s LinkedIn profile lists her as director of sales for the media company Optimal Fusion. I say: Any position other than “Slade Smiley’s television in” is a major step in the right direction.

Jeana Keough

The fact that Jeana rarely smiled at anything made her one of my favorites on the first season of RHOC. But I had to grin at this: Jeana recently took daughter Kara, who got engaged last year, to find a dress at Kleinfeld’s in New York! PLEASE let this be an ep of Say Yes to the Dress.

Lauri Waring Peterson

Because it was still the relative dawn of shows like this and I didn’t yet know how to manage my emotional investment, I was really into Lauri’s search for love and exasperated struggle with her kids. Post-marriage to George, she’s got seven children now—so I guess she’s got her hands full with that. Lauri says in her Twitter bio that “we call ourselves ‘The Peterson Project,'” which is some of the more blatant angling for a show I’ve seen in my day.

Lynne Curtin

OMG, Lynne! My spacy little cupcake. Sadly, Lynne and Frank have divorced, but that long-ago-launched accessories line Lynne Curtin Designs is still goin’ strong. (It all began with cuffs.) And because I swear she’s morphing into Cindy Barshop, let’s next head to New York and see what those castoffs are up to.

Cindy Barshop

My favorite thing about Cindy was that her chief reaction to being on RH always seemed to be surprise, as if she wasn’t quite sure how she’d gotten there. She’s still running the Completely Bare empire and raising her adorable twins, and—I like to imagine, anyway—calling up Carole Radziwill to snicker about how bats–t some of these antics get.

Alex McCord

Alex blogs over at Sulia. She and Simon also appeared on VH1’s Couples Therapy, which frankly I’m still irritated about but was never surprised by. Blech.

On to Atlanta!

Lisa Wu-Hartwell

Lisa has since divorced Ed Hartwell and recently launched a line of lipsticks, Chameleon by Lisa Wu. I can’t write anything else because I’m busy imagining a nightmare scenario in which I have to wear that extremely unforgiving green dress of hers in public.

DeShawn Snow

Well, hey, DeShawn wrote a series of kids’ books called Lil’ Shawnee aimed at empowering young girls. I can’t say anything snarky because I’d be lying if I said this cover, with all its preteen awesomeness, wouldn’t have brought me to a screeching, captivated halt in the library’s YA section back in the day.

Last but not least (well, I suppose that depends on your perspective, actually): New Jersey.

Danielle Staub

One-woman drama machine Staub won VH1’s Famous Food (I know, I didn’t see it either) in 201—but her restaurant, The Lemon Basket, has since closed. There have been rumors of her returning to RHONJ, but no official word.

Dina Manzo

Dina recently divorced Tommy Manzo, whom you might remember as the groom who photocopied invites for his D-list wedding guests. She hosts Dina’s Party on HGTV.

Also, in case you forgot about this cat of hers…remember.

Which former Real Housewives do you miss the most?

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