Why Dionne From Clueless Would Make a Great Cable-News Talking Head

Stacey Dash, a.k.a. our beloved Dionne from Clueless, became a surprisingly prominent conservative voice during the 2012 presidential election. And now, two years later, she’s officially signed on with Fox News as a contributor.

No matter how you sync up with her views, you’ve got to admit that playing Di afforded her a great education on how to nail a cable news talking-head gig. I hope she brings back the term “jeepin'” and bears these important lessons in mind:

Confide in those friends who understand the perils of fame.

Never surrender your commitment to gender equality.

Maintain a scandalized look while your adversary makes a point. Yep, that’s the one.

Beauty-wise, remember what works on-camera—and what doesn’t.

Always keep your ear to the ground—and by “the ground,” I mean a cell phone the size of your shoe.

Be clear in stating your platforms…

But know how to duck a request for a yes-or-no answer.

Definitely have Fox News hire you a driver.

And when all else fails, distract with hats.