Dating Men: How to Turn Down an Invitation to Go to His Place

Unless you have awesome self-control, hanging out at a date’s house often leads to hooking up. Not ready for that just yet? Read on for a few tips on how to turn him down–without hurting his feelings.

Let’s assume that you are into this guy, but you don’t want to get too physical at the moment. Personally, I try to wait as long as possible before I have sex with a new guy, and even then, I’m not always keen on sleepovers. (I have a Tempur-Pedic bed, mind you.) So, unless I’m ready to check out his pad, I always have a solid plan to head back to my place—alone!

1. Don’t take offense

He might know that there’s a slim chance you’ll accept his invitation, but he may ask anyway. This doesn’t mean he thinks you’re just a hookup. Therefore, don’t take it as an insult if he does try to entice you over for a nightcap. As long as he’s respectful, and he accepts your decision not to join him, you can’t blame a guy for trying!

2. Give him a reason

A flat “NO” to an invitation may make him worry that you just aren’t into him, so give him a concrete motive for passing on the offer. But remember, you don’t need to go on and on explaining yourself. A simple, “I’m just not ready yet” will do. I’ve also said, “I have an early start tomorrow.” Don’t be afraid to make him work for alone time with you!

man in bed

Shirtless man reclining in bed

3. Stick to your guns

Men are constantly looking for loopholes in your argument, so he may try to convince you that your dog doesn’t really need a walk, you’ll sleep perfectly well on his lumpy mattress and you can totally wear those clothes to work again! Tell him you appreciate what a problem solver he is and make plans to hang out again—at a neutral location!

4. Bid him a sweet farewell

Because I am a little vixen, I’ll give a boy a huge, sexy kiss after I turn him down for a sleepover. It makes him very keen on seeing me again. If you’re not up for this, you can give your guy a sweet peck or simply thank him for a great night. But warning, don’t try the steamy smooch if your self-control is shaky and you could easily be persuaded back to his place. You gotta smooch and leave!

How do you turn down an invite from a boy? Do you deny him because you aren’t into it or, like me, do you just prefer being on your own turf?

For more…

The ultimate shack pack: morning-after essentials!

What happens when you’re not sleep compatible?

How to tell if he likes you for you!

Photo: Jupiter Images

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