Hey ladies–Tracey from Slaves to Fashion here! Somehow, in between all of my lusting after Lanvin platforms and giving you the skinny on the best way to wear blazers, I’ve found the time to get myself involved in a little something I’ve decided to call a “fromance.” A what you say? Read on, and I’ll explain.
FROMANCE: n., pron. froh-mans: A friendship/romance with a member of the opposite sex, most readily defined by a) its comfort, consistency, and ease, b) its ability to inspire “but what if…” thoughts, and c) its lack of sex.
Admit it: You’ve been there. Maybe yours started out as a potential love interest that simmered for too long and never quite came to a boil. Maybe he was a guy who had a crush on you for ages, whose company you truly enjoyed but whose clothes you didn’t necessarily want to rip off. Or maybe, like my current fromantic interest, he was a very old friend you recently ran into again and have come to rely on as your go-to date for weddings and events, your Friday-night-Thai-food-on-the-couch companion, and quite possibly the explanation for why you hadn’t met anyone new in way too long.
Meet Eric. We’ve known each other for nearly 12 years and have shared countless laughs and bottles of wine, all of our dating dramas and a couple of very intermittent (as in, at least four years between them) kisses we both wish/pretend hadn’t happened. We’re friends. But we go on ice skating dates together. And for long, late dinners at French restaurants. He almost always comes home with me afterward to have a scotch and hang out in my living room, but I almost always put on my sweatpants and take off my makeup as soon as we walk in the door. We watch Family Guy reruns. I’m not afraid to eat a meatball sandwich the size of my arm in front of him.
Of course, my thoughts have wandered to the “but what if…” place. We’re in our late 20s, he’s attractive and well educated and one of the most genuinely kind and giving people I know. He’s easy to be around, can make me laugh my arse off, and he’s an incredible party date (I dragged him to the School of the American Ballet gala on Monday night, above, and not only did he not require babysitting, he was utterly charming all evening). It would just be so…easy! My mother seems to be confused about why it actually isn’t just that easy. And sometimes, I kind of am too. But we’ve both expressed on multiple occasions that we’re happy–no, elated–with the current state of our non-relationship relationship. And that’s the nature of the fromance: mysterious, comfortable, ever-evolving and much easier to just embrace than to try and understand. The truth is, if Eric and I weren’t involved in this little fromance, I’d probably be dating a lot more. But who needs to go out there and get all prettied up and be polite and wade through the very shallow pool of eligible guys for a hot date when you’ve got a great guy right there, who wants to watch Pineapple Express in jeans and a T-shirt and isn’t afraid to tell you you’re gorgeous? It’s all just so…fromantic.
Time to ‘fess up, ladies: Are you now, or have you ever been, involved in a fromance? How did it start? Did your fromance ever interfere with your real romance? Did your fromance turn into a romance? Have you ever had an experience similar to mine? Do you think I’m taking the easy way out by depending on Eric? Share!
And if you are in fromance, don’t forget to read the Dos and Don’ts of Being Friends with Men–it’ll help you navigate many a sticky situation–and 4 Reasons to Fall for Your Best Guy Friend.