Sex Advice From Porn Star James Deen (Trust Us, It’s Good!)

If there’s an It Guy of the porn world, it’s James Deen. Despite the fact that his piercing blue eyes and boy-next-door good looks have landed him mainstream roles (Deen costarred with Lindsay Lohan in The Canyons, out now), he says porn is less “scummy.” Intrigued? So were we. We asked: What has your line of work taught you about men and women?

GLAMOUR: Let’s get right to it, James. What would you say to women who think porn is creepy and don’t want their boyfriends watching it?

JAMES DEEN: Adult films are packaged with an intended purpose, which is to play on someone’s inner desires. They’re a product, just like soda or potato chips. So, you know, if you don’t like soda and potato chips, don’t buy them. Someone who doesn’t want to see an adult film shouldn’t have to see one.

GLAMOUR: OK, but what about women who are, say, health nuts and are concerned their boyfriends may be overdosing on junk food?

JD: I feel like people often ignore compatibility. If a woman is a health nut, maybe she should date a health nut.

GLAMOUR: Some women fear porn will make their guys develop unrealistic expectations about women’s bodies.

JD: When guys view adult films, it’s because they’re trying to satisfy a masturbatory point in their brain. They just want to indulge in that fantasy by themselves. They aren’t thinking, Man, I wish my girlfriend looked like that. They just want to look at Jenna Jameson’s big boobs bouncing around. In fact, men who view adult films are more likely to have an unrealistic expectation of themselves than they are of women. Most dudes can’t have sex for 45 minutes!

GLAMOUR: What have you learned about women from doing porn?

JD: That every person is an individual; every woman likes different things.You don’t have sex to someone. You have sex with that person.

GLAMOUR: I think people have this conception of porn being scuzzy, but I love that you’re coming from porn and saying, “No, these people are civilized; they’re thoughtful.”

JD: Working in the adult-film world, we deal with people’s personal boundaries—a lot. If someone says they aren’t comfortable doing a scene, everything ends. Everyone is respectful and professional. We listen carefully to one another because we understand we’re dancing on these taboos.

GLAMOUR: What’s your own love life like? Is it hard to date as a porn star?

JD: My love life is fantastic! I’m up-front about my career, so a girl is not going to date me if she is not OK with what my job entails. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten more into commitment. On camera I have a lot of sex, so I don’t need to have a wandering eye when I’m not at work.

GLAMOUR: So being a porn star makes you a perfect boyfriend—funny! What’s “romexting”? You tweeted that recently.

JD: When you send loving, flirty texts instead of like, “Baby, I want to bang you really hard”—that would be sexting. Romexting is like, “I love you. I want to take you on a fancy trip to Paris and hold your hand at the Eiffel Tower.”

GLAMOUR: You realize you’re still saying it in the sexting voice.

JD: Yeah, of course! You’ve got to say it in the sexting voice.

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