The 8 Stages of Moving In Together Too Soon

Yes, Peggy’s mom’s stance on living in sin on Sunday’s Mad Men was super-archaic, but I have to admit that things haven’t worked out so well for more than a few couples I know who have lived together. (When you think about it, it’s damn good they tried it out before things were too late.)

0502 annoyed couple sm

As I’ve mentioned before, although I do sh*t on it sometimes, one of the benefits of being single is getting to observe romantic cohabitation from the outside and learn from it. In New York, long-term-relationships tend to move to this stage much quicker thanks to high rent, and it doesn’t generally make for healthier relationships. So here’s the basic K?�bler-Rossian breakdown of what has happened to friends of mine who jumped the gun on living with a significant other:

Stage 1

__Partner A:__Do you want to move in?

__Partner B:__OMG, yes.

Stage 2

(drunk text)__Partner B:__Wait, is this a bad idea?

__Partner A:__OMG, no.

Stage 3:

__Partner A:__Want to watch Game Of Thrones and do it instead of doing work?

Partner B: Yes.

Stage 4:

(see stage 3)

Stage 5:

Six months later.

__Partner A:__Ugh, why do you keep distracting me from my work?

Partner B: Ugh, why can’t you do your dishes?

Partner A: I did do my dishes.

__Partner B:__You didn’t do them well, and I had to redo them,* as usual.*

Stage 6:

__Partner A:__Stop making that face.

__Partner B:__What face?

Partner A: I don’t know how to describe what fa–YOU’RE MAKING IT AGAIN.__

Partner B:__ Let’s order in burritos and not talk to each other.

__Partner A:__OK.

Stage 7:

Partner A: Should we break up?

Partner B: OMG, yes.

Stage 8:

(drunk text)

Partner B: Wait, is this a bad idea?

Partner A: OMG, no.

__Obviously, there are tons of couples who make it work: This is only about those who rush into it without thinking it through. There are always massive success stories like Melms and her delightful Moving In Together Surprises. __

What do you think? What are your experiences with moving in together?

More cohabitation in relationships:

10 Things That Make Living Together Awesome

6 Ways Living Together Can Kill The Romance (And How You Can Totally Fix It)

Is Living Alone the New Living Together? (If So, My Mom Is Totally a Trendsetter)

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