The Best and Worst Couples of Gossip Girl (XOXO to All of Them)

If Gossip Girl were a guy instead of a TV show, he’d be the really sexy guy you completely fall for immediately, slowly realize he’s the worst and constantly disappointing you, yet keep hooking up with him sporadically for the next five years.

Or maybe that’s just me and everyone else has already given up on the scandalous Upper East Siders, but I still have a soft spot for it despite despairing of its many ridiculous plot lines and openly laughing at the dramatic death scene we saw last week. It’s definitely time for the show to end, but I’m still feeling a little nostalgic remembering all the good times. (Need to get caught up on everything that’s happened? Here’s our handy guide!)

And of course, the best times of the show always involved love. Since just about everyone on the show has hooked up at one point it was hard to keep this from becoming a novel, but here’s our condensed list of the couples that worked, and the couples that should have been banned from Manhattan.

Best: Chuck and Blair

If Liz and Dick had been Blair and Chuck instead, it would have been entertaining on purpose instead of by accident. I have no problem saying those three words, eight letters to these two. I love you, and I’ll definitely say it twice. I’m yours. Ed Westwick and Leighton Meester have so much chemistry my TV screen melts a little each time they are on it. From their insanely hot first hookup in a limo to what looks to be their wedding in the finale tonight, they are the King and Queen B. of my heart. Could a normal relationship withstand an attempt to sell the girlfriend for a hotel, a pregnancy and marriage to another (royal) guy, a near-death car accident, approximately 8 million breakups and 9 billion revenge hookups? No. But the love between the bespoke-purple-suited Chuck and crowned-by-headband Blair is not for mere mortals.

Worst: Blair and Dan

Yes, they’re the two smartest members of the crew who share pretentious tastes in literature and old movies and love/hate feelings towards Serena. But I’m sorry…gross. No. I felt sick when they kissed. Blair could maybe get past his Brooklyn upbringing, but the most polished woman alive would never truly fall for someone with such unkempt hair.

Worst: Blair and Louis

Blair Waldorf is royalty in her own mind, she doesn’t need Prince Whatshisaccent, his devious family (she has her own), or his dowry blackmail nonsense.

Best: Rufus and Lily

How can a couple that makes no sense at all still make so much sense? He’s obsessed with waffles, the only carb she touches is vodka. She wore the most amazing wedding ensemble (pictured above), he wears the same flannel shirt four times a week. They have a secret love child that neither of them seem to care about, and she left him for the back-from-the-fake-dead-but-maybe-really-dead-now snake Bart Bass (who “died” the night she was already leaving him for Rufus) yet I somehow still think (and hope) we’ll see the Van Der Humphreys reunited tonight.

Worst: Serena and Dan

I might get a lot of disagreement here (and they might even be headed towards the 4,000th reconciliation in the finale) but I’m just over these two. Rufus is the only Humphrey man who can handle being an Upper East Side house-husband. The giant chip on Dan’s shoulder keeps getting in the way, and at this point, he’s devious enough to deserve Georgina and Georgina alone. Serena and Dan need to let the memory of their young love fade because let’s face it: I know these two were a real life couple once, but since Blake Lively’s marriage to Ryan Reynolds, her scenes with Penn Badgley are about as exciting as any plot line involving Vanessa (see below). Not to mention my aforementioned rooting for Lily and Rufus, and my discomfort with step-siblings getting it on.

Best: Eleanor Waldorf and Cyrus Rose

Because you guys, WALLACE SHAWN.

Worst: Jenny and Chuck

In things I try to pretend never happened: remember how Chuck attempted to sexually assault Jenny in the first season, and then later she ended up losing her virginity to him willingly? I’ve blocked it from memory.

Best: Serena and Nate

They’ve had the hots for each other since hooking up in the original OMFG moment that had parents everywhere freaking out, on a hotel bar that neither of them were old enough to legally be in (um, come to think of it, aren’t they still underage?), and I wish these two would rekindle their flame. Dubbed the Golden Couple by Gossip Girl herself, the luscious locks between the two are reason enough for them to get back together: their future child could challenge Kate Middleton for best hair ever. Plus, let’s be honest: these two are on a similar intellectual level which is, well…they’re pretty. So pretty.

Worst: Vanessa and anyone.

She tried with Nate, she tried with Dan (and briefly, with Dan AND Hillary Duff, which was weird for everyone involved and watching), she tried with Dan’s secret half-brother, and I think she even hooked up with Chuck, but no. Vanessa’s relationships just never worked. Sorry V, at least you have your boho accessories to keep you company.

Best: Eric and Jonathan

Seriously, why did Eric disappear? He and cutie boyfriend Jonathan were probably the least-drama prone couple ever on the show, until Jenny had to go and ruin it. Jenny ruins everything, including but not limited to: fashion shows, my opinion on eyeliner, and young love.

Worst: Rufus and Ivy (and Ivy and William)

Shudder. Let’s never speak of this again.

Best: Dorota and Blair

While a platonic couple, yes, no one loves each other more than Miss Blair and her sassy, charming, loyal servant Dorota. They bicker and Blair bosses her around and it just works for them. While Vanyas and Chucks may come and go, these two are family forever.

Which is your favorite Gossip Girl couple? Who did I get wrong or miss? And are you going to be watching the finale tonight?

What we’ve learned from the show:

Relationship Lessons from Gossip Girl: Comparing Your Relationship to Someone Else’s

Relationship Lessons from Gossip Girl: Taking a Risk for Love

Relationship Lessons from Gossip Girl: Losing the T-Card