When Ginny Brown had her first orgasm, it seemed less intense than the ones she’d heard about. Since she’d been raised in a religious environment where sex was considered shameful and didn’t experience her first orgasm until her mid 20s, she figured she just had to work through some emotional baggage to experience sexual pleasure “normally.” But as she had more sex with more people, her body continued to seem a little different: Rather than the one big O she witnessed her partners having, she had many little ones—sometimes too many to count.
Then, in a sexual biology class in grad school, she learned something she’d never been told before: Her way of orgasming—which she’s dubbed “mini-orgasmic”—had actually been documented by Masters and Johnson (the duo from Masters of Sex), and it was one of three ways people orgasm. There was nothing about her body that needed fixing after all.
But not all her partners understood this. Guys would ask her what they could do to make her climaxes bigger, even though she was satisfied with her many small ones. “I think for a lot of guys, it’s tied into their sense of sexual skill—being able to make a woman come really loudly and really dramatically,” Brown told Glamour. “It’s a turn-on and proof that they’re great in bed.”
Now, though, she only dates people who accept the way her body works—because the way she orgasms is actually really cool. She gets there quickly and can stay there for as long or short a time as she wants. “I’m a pretty low-maintenance gal in terms of being satisfied sexually,” she explained. “If there’s not a lot of time, I can get to where I need to be. If we’ve got a lot of time, I can be enjoying orgasms all the way through.”
She’s had a couple bigger orgasms in her life and sometimes envies people who can do that consistently, but she figures that’s probably just a case of “the grass is always greener.”
“I used to be very attentive and worried about my orgasms and what was going to happen,” she said. “Now, I just don’t sweat it and I just let my body do whatever it’s going to do.”