Truly Excellent Self-Love Tips From the Tupperware Ladies of Sex Toys
You know how, back in the day, women would get together at someone’s house and have Tupperware parties? Well, in 2017 it seems there’s a new need for integral plastic items, but instead of gathering to buy containers to store leftovers in, groups are coming together to learn about—and ultimately buy—sex toys. It wouldn’t be unfair to say that women have come out of the kitchen and into the bedroom.
Given the nature of the parties, it’s not surprising that, according to the ladies who run the events, guests are usually shy at the start of the night, only to come out of their shell and seek suggestions for toys that perform a specific function by the time it’s over. It’s also not surprising that some consultants apply the principles of sales to these events, often staying in touch with party attendees and building up a roster of regular clients with whom they set up visits to talk sex and shop sex toys.
Others build their clientele by casting a wide net. “I find my clients everywhere from the grocery store, the gas station, the mall, and the doctor’s office,” says Tiwana McKnight, who works for Pure Romance. “I usually introduce myself with a compliment or smile and give them a business card.”
With Valentine’s Day coming, who better than sex-toy experts to ask about the best toys for self-love on a day that so many singles (and, hell, even takens) can start to dread? Below, here are some tips if you’re planning to spend February 14 literally feeling yourself.
Freda Hobbs, a part-time consultant for Bedroom Kandi, says that when party hostesses invite their friends over for a 30- to 45-minute product demonstration, guests often start out apprehensive since they don’t know what to expect. But by the end, everyone is pretty much asking for one thing: clitoral stimulation.
“My favorite toy is called Hip Hop,” Hobbs says. “The clitoris is made just for pleasure, and I think she deserves to be honored. A toy that’s made specifically with clitoral stimulation in mind is something special.”
She also recommends LELO’s Ina Wave because of the come-hither motion it uses to massage the G-spot.
Brooke Christian, founder of flirtygirlguide.com, also hosts parties for women looking for solutions to make sex more satisfying, both with a partner and solo.
“Clients are referred to me a variety of ways, including word of mouth, by local gynecologists—I met with many and they all stock my business cards for patients who could benefit from my services—and from social media followers,” Christian says.
The most common need women have from their sex toys? “To orgasm, of course!” Christian says.
For that, she recommends the Vesper from Crave, a chic bulletlike necklace that doubles as a powerful vibrator. Christian says she’s a fan of treating the toy like a regular piece of jewelry, and thinks it’s hot to wear your vibrator in public and have it be your “dirty little secret.”
“Also, it’s metal, which means it heats up to your body temperature and causes much less friction on your sensitive parts. Your clitoris will say ‘Yes, please!’” Christian says, adding that because it warms up, it’s an accessible way for women to achieve multiple orgasms.
“I’ve guided many women through the phases of multiples using the Vesper and have very, very happy clients as a result,” she says.
Stacy Rybchin, fonder of My Secret Soiree and My Secret Luxury, says that her clients are also focused on achieving the big O when they spend time alone with their toys.
For that, she designed and created the We-Vibe Tango Vibrator. The bullet is great for beginners because it is small and discreet, but “advanced users” love it because it is one of the most powerful bullet vibrators. It is pinpointed for clitoral stimulation and is 100-percent waterproof for shower or tub play.
(Fun fact: Vibrations travel more powerfully through water).
Rybchin, who created her business out of a desire to provide education about both sexual health and high-quality sex toys to women in a “nonjudgmental and unintimidating” environment, says that helping someone understand that she’s normal and helping her access the pleasure she deserves is “a thrill.” If the consultation is about products, the ladies first discuss what their current “situation” looks like and what their needs are, and chat about their current toys, what they do and don’t like, and what kind of stimulation they’re looking for.
Rybchin also recommends using ON Arousal Oil or Gel. The natural cinnamon-based clitoral stimulant that brings the blood flow down to the clitoris to kick-start the arousal process and your own natural lubrication.
“After you add a few drops to the clitoris, it starts out at room temperature and then slowly starts to buzz and tingle; this is the blood rushing down to the clitoris,” Rybchin says. “It’s a great product if you are not in the mood or don’t have a lot of time to get aroused because you will be super aroused in about five minutes. It lasts approximately 10 to 20 minutes, depending on how much lubrication you produce. The oil comes in three different strengths: Lite, Original, and Ultra. Some people prefer the gel because it comes in a pump bottle. Since ON is made with natural ingredients, it’s safe to ingest.”
Candice Dixon, a writer, vlogger, and sex-toy freelancer, first encountered the concept of the self-love party through a Pure Romance Girl’s Night, where she witnessed a sex-toy presentation for the first time and saw the party eventually grow “from mild to wild,” which, she says, is pretty much the norm. Private consultations, however, are private, and she has a regular list of folks she sees once a month.
Her favorite toy? JimmyJane Form 1 by Pleasure Chest, a wearable (in your panties) vibrator with Bluetooth remote control that has five speeds and power levels.
“This discreet toy is like the naughty love child of WiFi and foreplay,” she says. “Not to mention, it accelerates the big O!”
She also likes Pure Romance’s Silicone Dual-Action Vibrator Main Attraction, which has 10 speeds of independently controlled clitoral and shaft vibration and gives intense sensations to the clitoris.
“It’s also great for self-love,” she says. “It’s designed for the G-spot and is definitely the showstopper.”
McKnight says that while the Main Attraction is her biggest seller, she also is a fan of a toy they make called Big Plans.
“This toy is built for pleasure. The super-curve and dual-action motors with seven speeds are great, and with every speed it changes color,” she says. “So every different feeling of arousal has a different [shade]. It’s Tiffany blue and has extended bunny ears for clitoral stimulation.”
She adds, “It’s important to self-love whether or not you’re single, because it’s healthy.”
Helaina Hovitz is an editor, journalist, and author of After 9/11. She can be found on Twitter, Facebook, or helainahovitz.com.