Wanna know what guys really want? Well, it has to do with their penises…

It’s really pretty simple: Worship his penis. Do that and your man will be worshiping you.

That’s right. Mike Fiore, relationship expert, founder of Digital Romance, Inc., and best-selling author of 6 Simple Tricks to Crack the Man Code and Get Any Guy to Open His Heart, says the best way to please your man is to start off by appreciating his beloved member.

“Let’s be blunt,” says Fiore, “men LOVE their penises. Love them. And because guys love their penises so much, we want YOU to love them too.”

I know what you’re thinking: But, but, it’s a penis. Sure, it does its job when necessary, but so what? I’m attracted to the guy…not the junk (unless the junk is, well, over-the-top extraordinary—which, let’s be honest, is rarely the case). Why should I give that little dude some extra attention?

“Penises are ugly, little shriveled tails hanging off the front of a man (until they’re not),” says Fiore, “but the emotional connection a guy feels for his genitalia is something between love and obsession. Men spend a crazy, ridiculous, and unhealthy amount of time thinking about their genitalia, what their genitalia is feeling, what they WANT it to feel, and how they can make it feel that way. That’s why one powerful male fantasy revolves around the power of the penis.”

First of all: Bahaha, man tail! That’d be a funny dis for a guy you weren’t into. Second: OK, that actually makes sense. His penis is sort of the center of his world…and making it ours is a huge turn-on.

“Just watch any porn made for straight guys and you’ll see this (incredibly unrealistic) effect in action,” says Fiore. “A man simply unzips his pants and suddenly the demure housewife is hot and ready to go. Yes, it’s ridiculous, but it’s also hard-wired into men’s minds. Understanding that deep connection a man has to his penis gives you incredible power.”

Alright, he’s got a point; I’d be willing to try it with J and mini-J (I mean, err, KING J). I mean, think about it: Don’t we always talk about feeling strong by being in control of our own bodies as women? We don’t have vagina on the brain 24/7, but taking our pleasure (and health) into our own hands is really empowering. Maybe applying that to the guy in our life (at least once in a while) could be really sexy.

So, how exactly do we do it? Fiore says, “If you want to get a guy busting down doors to get you, simply send him a text saying, I can’t stop thinking about your penis. If you were here right now I would…'” OK, that’s totally doable and not so scary or gross or even made up. I’m actually a big fan of sexting, so I think that’s a good place to start the penis worship.

“And make sure to talk about his penis while you’re having sex too,” adds Fiore, “I promise he’ll like it.”

Will you try this “Penis Worship” sex tip? Mike Fiore’s explanation really does make sense. And, hey, maybe if we pay extra attention to the penises in our lives, the attached dudes (Oh, hello up there handsome!) will spend some extra time with our most sensitive ladybits. Yes, I like this idea very much.