Would You Rather Have a Big Fake Diamond or a Tiny Real Diamond? (This Reader Is Bummed About Her Cubic Zirconia!) Plus, 12 Inexpensive Engagement Rings!

Uh oh. This reader is feeling lukewarm about her engagement ring …

Writes Save the Date reader Shelly:

I was thrilled when my boyfriend of almost five years recently proposed—but I’m less than thrilled with the ring. I don’t want to hurt his feelings because he was so proud of picking it out on his own, but to be honest, I’m disappointed. Mainly with the stone, which is a cubic zirconia.

Neither of us has a lot of money right now (he’s finishing up school) so I understand that he couldn’t afford an over-the-top dream ring. But I wish he had picked out a small diamond instead of a bigger cubic zirconia. Am I being superficial? Will people be able to tell the difference when they see my ring?

I love my new fiancee and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him. I guess I just have to get used to the ring! What do you think?

Here are my thoughts:

I don’t care if your guy’s budget was $50 or $5,000—if you’re not happy with the ring for whatever reason, I think you should speak up!

I’d just say, “After wearing my ring for a few days, it still doesn’t feel like ‘me.’ I love you so much—I’d like to have a ring I love, too. Can we pick out a new one together?”

I don’t think most people will be able to tell your ring has a cubic zirconia, but I understand why it bugs you, anyway. Most girls want an engagement ring that will last forever, and the quality of inexpensive jewelry often doesn’t feel long-lasting. If you’d be okay with a different style of CZ, there are tons of lovely options on the super-cheap. (The second one below made my jaw drop!)

Engagement Ring 1: Cubic Zirconia Ring from Last Call by Neiman Marcus, $68

Engagement Ring 2: Crislu Cubic Zirconia Ring from Bloomingdale’s, $100

Engagement Ring 3: Cubic Zirconia Engagement Ring from Target, $69.99

Engagement Ring 4: Belargo Soho Ring from Endless, $155

More Noir…

But if you’d rather have a real diamond in your engagement ring, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that! (I really don’t!) Still, it will likely cost more that a CZ, so you should probably offer to pay the difference.

Engagement Ring 5: Classic Four-Prong Engagement Ring from Blue Nile, $184 (setting only, shown with $187 stone)

Engagement Ring 6: Diamond Engagement Ring from Target, $219.99

Engagement Ring 7: Diamond Engagement Ring from Target, $364.00

Engagement Ring 8: Diamond Engagement Ring from Ice.com, $275

Engagement Ring 9: Diamond Engagement and Wedding Ring Set from Overstock.com, $349.99

More Ice.com…

I think the biggest issue I’d take with CZ is that it tends not to be as sparkly as a real diamond. If you want to up the pretty factor without spending a ton more, you could opt for something less fancy than a diamond that still has tons of sparkle. Right now I’m really into morganite, a pink-ish or peach-ish gemstone that’s ultra-sparkly. Moissanite, which is generally manufactured, is also a more-sparkly, less-expensive option.

Engagement Ring 10: Morganite and Tourmaline Ring from Etsy seller CobbledStone, $135

Engagement Ring 11: Morganite Ring from Etsy seller goldiesnaturalgems, $80

Engagement Ring 12: Moissanite Ring from Etsy seller daniellejewelry, $300

Ladies, what do you think? Would you rather have an engagement ring with a big fake diamond or a small real one? Do you think Shelly should speak up? Would you wear any of the rings above as your engagement ring?

p.s. I know “it’s not all about the ring.” Shelly knows “it’s not all about the ring.” But her question was about her ring, so let’s discuss the ring without freaking out and telling her to just be grateful she has someone who loves her.

Have a wedding-y dilemma of your own? E-mail me!

More miscellaneous wedding stuff:

• As a Bridesmaid, Would You Rather Wear a Short Dress or a Long One?

• Some Non-Ugly Stamps to Jazz Up Your Wedding Invites

• A Super-Cute (Super-Cheap!) Way to Package Your Favors