My Awkward Sexual Experience: “I Was Offered A Happy Ending Massage”

Yesterday, The Girls in the Beauty Department were talking about happy ending manicures. Funny timing because this weekend, my friend told me about her own experience with a happy ending massage. You’ll never believe this…

Here’s her story:

I went to a cheap spa while on vacation in Florida. It wasn’t at all fancy–everyone lay on little massage tables with butcher paper, instead of regular sheets. But who cares, right? I just wanted to be kneaded. 🙂

So I’m lying there and the massage is great. The woman massages my shoulders, neck, back, arms and feet. Then she tells me to lie on my back so she can massage my legs. I roll over, and her hands move up my legs and my thighs. She’s getting pretty up close and personal, and I’m lying there thinking, um, what’s going on? Should I say something? But I tell myself to chill out and not be too uptight. It’s a massage, after all.

But then came the kicker: She asks me point blank, “Would you like a happy ending?” Just like that! I was like, “Um, I’m good, thanks, though.” My face turned BEET red and I just lay there in shock as she continued to rub my legs and arms.

The weirdest part was, how would she have even done it? I mean, I understand if guys get happy endings–that’s pretty self-explanatory. But with women, it’s all nuance and subtlety. It could have taken ages for her to bring me to orgasm–especially because she’s some random massage therapist. My head was spinning. It was definitely my most awkward sexual experience to date, that I can assure you!

Have you guys ever gotten professional massages? Did it ever feel a little too sexy? Do you know any guys or girls who have actually gotten happy endings? Your Tango also wrote a story about female happy ending massages–it’s crazy!

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