On Size Acceptance: Q&A With Lesley Kinzel, the “Mouthy Fat Broad” Author of “Two Whole Cakes”

I don’t have to tell you how pervasive body and weight issues are–as a woman, you probably deal with them more often than not. It’s almost impossible to tackle the subject in just a few words; someone should really write a book about weight stereotypes and learning to appreciate the beauty of your own body. Oh wait! Someone did…

It’s Lesley!

Lesley Kinzel–co-founder of Fatshionista (now Two Whole Cakes) and writer/editor for xoJane–has a lot to say about loving yourself at any size in her new book, Two Whole Cakes: How to Stop Dieting and Learn to Love Your Body. Guys, it’s pretty amazing. Take a look…

I’ve been anxious to interview you for a long time…also a little nervous. You’re very well-known because of Fatshionista, xoJane, and, of course, *your book. *What is it like having so many fans?

__Lesley:__Ha! I honestly don’t know! I always operate with the idea that I am talking to one person, which must work because I often hear from people that when they read my work they imagine I’m speaking directly to them. When I occasionally get recognized–probably as a side effect of sharing pictures of myself online a lot–it’s pretty astonishing because I always think, “Wow, what are the odds that the one person who reads my stuff would happen to run into me here?”

__It takes strength to write for an audience of any kind–and especially online, since the comments are immediate, often anonymous, and not necessarily always positive. How do you deal with the challenges of writing about weight and body acceptance in this medium?

Lesley:__ My first rule is never to take things personally, because the truth is even the most vile commenter knows nothing about me as an individual. People are always knee-jerkily resistant to new ideas, especially new ideas that challenge some of the most basic things we think we know about bodies and well-being. If a person has spent her whole life believing that she has to keep below a certain weight lest she become unloveable and worthless, and has lived her life according to that assumption, it actually seems natural that her reaction to being told otherwise would be anger or frustration. Particularly for those of us who have spent years in denial and unhappiness because of these assumptions and stereotypes.

People rarely respond to size-positive stuff by saying “HEY, THAT’S GREAT NEWS” because it’s hard to let go of a philosophy and a way of life that has guided our decisions and our self-esteem for so long. So I try to practice patience with people, and live my life as a positive example of an alternative way of being.

__What was it like making the transition into book writing?

Lesley:__ Tricky! I’m used to the instant feedback I get online, which enables me to throw out ideas and hear people’s opinions and then go back with that information and develop the ideas further. I put a lot of pressure on myself with the knowledge that this book wasn’t going to be a collection of necessarily ephemeral blog posts, but would have longevity of a sort. That’s pretty scary for a perfectionist like me, so I spent a lot of time asking myself, “If I read this ten years from now, will I think, ‘wow, I was totally full of crap about that’?”

__OK, so this is the part where I ask you to tell us about the book–where the idea came from, what it’s about, why you wrote it. Tell us about the book!

Lesley: __I’ve been calling Two Whole Cakes a sort of combination manifesto-memoir. It’s equal parts culture-busting and personal stories about growing up fat and learning self-acceptance. I wrote it for lots of reasons, but one of the main ones is that people seem to respond really dramatically to many of my stories, and I’ve heard from so many people over the years that reading my blog has changed them for the better, made them kinder to themselves. That’s both incredibly humbling and incredibly motivating at the same time–I wanted to get that message out to a wider audience. (Pun intended.)

__What have reactions been like so far? Have they surprised you in any way?

*Lesley: *__By and large the reactions have been positive. I’ve been surprised by the lack of negative response, to be honest. Not that I’m looking for it, but I was sort of bracing for it, so to see only positive feedback thus far is sort of amazing. The worst thing anyone has expressed is a worry that fat people might use my book as an “excuse” to stay fat, and that’s really not bad at all–I’m totally okay with people doing that.

__What’s the biggest concept, idea, or feeling you hope that people take away from your book?

Lesley:__ I want everyone to know that they don’t HAVE to hate themselves, or their bodies. You can accept your body as it is, or you can try to change it, but I think any decisions we make must come from a place of being loving and kind to ourselves, and not a place of punishment or negativity or denial.

__Do you have any more readings coming up? Where can we find you? And do you have more books in the works?

Lesley:__ I’ll be doing some readings on the west coast over the summer. There will be more info on my blog when things get settled. And yes, absolutely there will be more books–I have two big ideas I’m kicking around at present but I won’t say more than that.

__Any last words of wisdom–or anything, really?

Lesley:__You are AWESOME. I don’t care who you are. Appreciate yourself and be kind to yourself and it will change your life.

You are awesome, too, Lesley. What do you guys think? Leave questions and comments for Lesley here!

More on weight issues:

• Model Natalia Vodianova: “Come On, Guys, It’s Better to be Skinny Than to be Fat!”

• Losing Weight Before Your Wedding? Fine. Losing Weight By Sticking a Tube Up Your Nose? You’re a Moron.

Health Controversy: Airline Tells Flight Attendants to Lose Weight in Order to Cut Fuel Costs. Huh?

Photo: Feminist Press