Are You a “Makeout Bandit”?

My friend Bea taught me an amazing phrase the other day: “makeout bandit.” After a recent breakup, she’s been “on a tear” (her words). She’s referred to her new kissing-friendly persona as a makeout bandit, and I have to say, I love it.

Without getting into too much proxy bra-burning or getting too far up on my cross, know that I’ve never really used or liked the word “slut.” I think it’s a funny-sounding word, and I’ve certainly used it jokingly when referring to promiscuous behavior, but I don’t think I’ve ever used it pejoratively in reference to a girl.

I was raised with sisters and a brother and to “treat boys and girls the same.” And I took that to heart. I like girls who like sex. I’ve never grasped the double standard that somehow persists in contemporary dating culture where the notion that women are supposed to remain chaste persists.

Hence my love of the name “makeout bandit.” Bea also referred to “kissing fairy,” a term coined by another friend of ours (supposedly), but we agreed that such nomenclature was nowhere strong enough for the level of aggression involved in makeout banditry.

This conversation unfolded on a recent weekend afternoon in my apartment, as Bea lay on my couch, regaling us with stories of makeout-try and the incredible freedom that she feels getting to date while knowing she’s not looking for anything permanent.

At one point, I thought I saw Bea pull a tall-boy out of her purse. We’d been out together until 4 A.M. the night before, and she’d just come from a meeting, so I was understandably shocked. “Bea?” I asked. “Is that a beer?”

She laughed: “Makeout bandit’s best friend!”

It turned out to be a silver thermos full of tea. The point isn’t what she’s drinking or who she’s kissing, the point is that she is so much happier not trying. That isn’t to say she’s not extending effort, but Bea’s not dating as if she’s evaluating partners, interviewing potential husbands, or crossing off items on a checklist of attributes.

She’s investing her time in guys that interest her, nothing more. And she’s making out like a bandit.

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Have you ever gone through a “makeout bandit” stage? Can we think of some synonyms? Does the process of trying by not trying appeal to you?__

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Photo: Jupiter Images; model is used for illustrative purposes only